Some people believe that the goverment sholud take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their retirement. What is your opinion? Is it a postive or negative development?

In
this
fast changing modern era, every age- group need certain facilities for their survival.
Although
half part of the population believes that after retirement people should get support from the government, the other part thinks just opposite to it, they want every individual must save money for the future when they are working. I will put shine on both the sides. In my opinion, it is important for the society and law take care of old people. To embark with, there are several reasons why some masses holding a view in against of providing facilities like financial help for older people.
First
of all, the government can introduce a more development project which helps to improve the country's economy and growth
instead
of giving benefiting services to retired people.
For instance
, latest studies prove that many nations ban these facilities after retirement and focuses more on construction on developing valuable public projects.
In addition
, it is seen that sometimes relatives or others cheat on retired people to get money for their service.
This
is why some people may not get these benefits.
On the contrary
, nowadays survival becomes relatively difficult due to a lot of competition in every field.
First
and foremost, after a certain age, people lost their physical power to perform labour work
such
as worker in factory and driver etc.. So, in
this
situation they need support financially for the basic needs of human beings
that is
home, footwear, clothes, and foot etc.
Moreover
, in toady's world, there are some sons and daughters who leave their parents alone, for them ministry needs to build more old- age home where they get proper basic needs and take care. Even the rapidly rising cost of living and food item adversely effect retired people who do not have adequate savings. To encapsulate the whole notion, I gather that retired people contribute their life in the development of society.
Furthermore after
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, after
retirement, it's society's and governance duty to take care of these people and ensure their better survival.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users