Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Some
people
like to work
in a company for their entire lives. Others like to work
for various companies
. Which one do I prefer? I would like to choose the second one, and I will discuss both pros and cons in the following paragraphs.
To start with, people
want stable jobs
, and they go to big companies
to work
. However
, big companies
still have so many difficulties need
to faceVerb problem
apply
with
, and many business groups bankrupt because of their bad financial management. Some Change preposition
apply
people
do not want to change
a lot in their work
. They want to do the
things which are similar to what they did yesterday. Changing is always annoying because you have to spend time and money on new stuff, and new things Correct article usage
apply
maybe
difficult to learn. Correct your spelling
may be
As a result
, they do not want to change
their job. If the present jobs
are okay to work
, they would not change
them. We are unknown to other companies
. Maybe they are better or they are worse. Some people
want to stay in a company for a long time, due to
its benefits. Some companies
have good bonuses, salaries, welfare, and so on. It is wonderful to work
for those companies
.
In my view, some people
change
jobs
regularly because other companies
are willing to pay more to hire them. Others may feel that the jobs
they are working on are not their ideal jobs
. Therefore
, they are seeking their dream jobs
. It is great to have several working experiences in variety
Correct article usage
a variety
fields
. Change preposition
of fields
However
, people
could think you are not a stable person, and they will not employ you.
In a nutshell, the aforementioned some people
prefer jobs
or companies
which
they can Change preposition
in which
work
for such
a long time. Others like to try different positions or Correct quantifier usage
apply
companies
. For this
question
it depends on what sort of person you are. I prefer the second one.Add a comma
question,
Submitted by edward300225 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Overall, your essay presents a clear and coherent discussion of both views, providing a balanced insight before stating a personal preference. To further enhance your essay, consider establishing a more distinct separation between paragraphs discussing opposing views. This will make your essay even more structured and easier to follow.
Task Achievement
You did an excellent job of addressing the task, offering a comprehensive exploration of both viewpoints and articulating your opinion with clarity. For an even more profound impact, try integrating more varied sentence structures and enhancing the complexity of your vocabulary. This will not only demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency but also keep your audience engaged throughout.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a balanced view on the topic, effectively discussing the advantages and disadvantages of working for the same organisation versus working for different organisations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your discussion, clearly stating the topic and your opinion on it. This structural element is crucial for guiding the reader through your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
