Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists

Some people believe that to relish more success and secured life, it is always a better option to choose science and technical streams. On the other side many people feel it is passionate to get indulge in an art career. I strongly feel that if we are doing anything with full focus and passion, we can achieve our goal which will not only provide us financial security but

also

lots of happiness and satisfaction.

Firstly

, in the

today

Suggestion

today's

world, people are highly educated, they never judge anyone on the basis of one

factors

Suggestion

factor

either intelligence or great sense of

humor

a message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter

humour

. People love to have the complete package; they give equal importance to the health and to the entertainment as well. If a health expert is not very smart to prescribe well or he is not experienced, people will never approach, only because he or she is having a degree. They could

also

face the deficiency of money;

similarly

, if a person is not having great skills to impress

other

plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned

others

with their voice or with their art, nobody is going to approach them for their entertainment. People will pay only to those persons who will serve them efficiently.

Secondly

, every field needs more time, effort and money. It is not always easy to become a technical expert or a musician. The person who will work more on their skills and actions, will

ultimate

Suggestion

ultimately

become more efficient.

For example

, if a doctor is not practicing after getting his degree, he will get obsolete very soon as his skills are not well polished. In

this

modern world, many

musician

Suggestion

musicians

are more in demand than doctor or technical experts, because of their soothe voice and they are getting paid well.

Moreover

, people feel if

doctor

Suggestion

a doctor

the doctor

are

Suggestion

crucial for their physical wellness, they

also

need musicians to relax their mind and get entertained, which is highly important for

this

rush lifestyle. In conclusion, people are in the need of everything not only technology or entertainment. They will pay happily to those persons who will serve well either for their physical needs or mental needs.

Therefore

, we cannot say people who are educated will get more pay. They need to be great in their own field to get valuable payment.

Submitted by neetugoyal243 on Tue Mar 03 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

374 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

valued
modern society
scientists
technology experts
musicians
artists
reliance
scientific advancements
practical benefits
driving economic growth
daily lives
culture
human emotions
express ideas
provoke thought
spiritual well-being
emotional well-being
preserving cultural heritage
subjective nature
diversity

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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoppings centres or malls to do their shoping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?