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Band 6.5

For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and Math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skills be made as fourth skill to the list. To what extent do you agree?

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Skills needed by the employers keep on changing.
Hence
,
education system
Suggestion
the education system
 needs to evolve. Reading, writing and maths
has been
Suggestion
have been
 the most important pillars and with the advent of computers, there have been arguments to make
this
 the fourth pillar. I agree with
this
 view.
However
,
this
 could have some negative effects on the children. Computers can impact the cognitive abilities of the children. It offers a great range of applications in the fields of reading, writing, calculations etc. The use of
such
 applications at an early age can prevent kids from attaining the basic knowledge of communication and calculation.
For example
,
instead
 of learning tables and performing calculations with their minds, they rely on the calculator application.
Similarly
, with the applications
such
 as spell
checker
Suggestion
check
checking
 etc., kids refrain from learning the correct words and grammar.
On the contrary
, it has become very important to gain computer skills these days. IT sector has become a big sector in the whole world, which generates millions of jobs every year.
Thus
, there are better job opportunities for people with the professional computer courses.
Furthermore
, most of the government institutions and companies rely on the computers for their work.
For instance
, in India, you can apply for passport online and get an appointment. Even the employees use computers to scan the documents, fill the applicant related data, print the
reciept
the act of receiving
receipt
 etc.
Therefore
,
this
 is a must have
skill irrespective
Accept comma addition
skill, irrespective
 of the work sector. To conclude, even though computers may hamper the
cogniyive
of or being or relating to or involving cognition
cognitive
 abilities of a child, there is no doubt that it has become must for us to include
this
 skill in the education system.
This
 will enable kids to get jobs.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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