Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years, advancements in technology have made social
media
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an integral part of
people
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’s lives, particularly in
communication
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and information sharing.
This
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has led to an ongoing debate about whether the benefits of social
media
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outweigh its drawbacks. From my perspective, social
media
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offers numerous advantages, which will be outlined below.
To begin
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with, social
media
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has revolutionized
communication
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by enabling
people
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to connect easily, regardless of their location.
For instance
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, international students or workers can stay in touch with loved ones in other countries, something that was difficult with traditional methods of
communication
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.
This
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innovation strengthens relationships by providing emotional support, even across great distances,
while
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allowing individuals to pursue professional opportunities abroad.
Additionally
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, social
media
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platforms
such
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as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram make it possible to reconnect with old friends or former colleagues, fostering a sense of community and nostalgia. Another significant benefit of social
media
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is the widespread and instant access to information. In the past,
people
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relied primarily on newspapers or radios, which were not always convenient or timely. Today, social
media
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allows users to stay informed at any time and from any location.
For example
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, during the Siam Paragon shooting in Bangkok
last
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year, news spread rapidly through social
media
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platforms, helping
people
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avoid danger and stay updated on the situation.
This
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accessibility ensures that the majority of citizens remain informed about important events as they happen.
On the other hand
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, critics argue that social
media
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has contributed to the decline of face-to-face interaction. It is common to see
people
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engrossed in their phones
while
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sitting together at restaurants, highlighting how technology can diminish meaningful conversations. Over time,
this
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over-reliance on online
communication
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may weaken interpersonal relationships and reduce social skills, which are crucial in personal and professional settings. In conclusion, social
media
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plays a vital role in modern society, offering benefits
such
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as global
communication
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and easy access to information.
However
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, it is important not to overlook the negative impact on real-life interactions.
Therefore
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, a balance should be maintained between using social
media
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and fostering meaningful in-person connections.
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task achievement
While the essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, further elaboration in certain areas could enhance depth. Consider expanding on the potential counterarguments or providing examples of how the decline in face-to-face interaction specifically impacts professional settings.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, but transitions between points could be smoother. Try using more varied linking phrases to ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, adequately addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
task achievement
Examples such as the Siam Paragon shooting effectively illustrate the benefits of social media in disseminating information quickly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-developed, clearly stating the writer's stance and summarizing key points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are thoroughly supported, offering a balanced view of social media's impact.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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