If children behave badly should their parents take responsibility and also be punished? State your answer and give your reasons. OR If a five year old commits a crime, should his/her parents accept responsibility and how should they be punished. What is the age of a child when parents no longer have the responsibility of a child’s behavior?

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It is an ongoing debate

that

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

parents are responsible for the misdeeds of a child or not. I believe that if youngsters commit a crime, their guardians should be blamed and they should be punished. An elaboration of my viewpoint with

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

relevant examples and reasons has been justified in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Firstly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

learn everything from the

surrounding

Fix the agreement mistake

surroundings

show examples

and family in which they are living

Change preposition

apply

show examples

This

Linking Words

is a duty of an elder to teach and guide their kids.

For example

Linking Words

, my country, India has a rule that people below 18 years should not be punished.

Change preposition

show examples

a result, they can make a big mistake in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

future.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

action against their guardians so that, they restrict their kids properly.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is a required step for a better future

Change preposition

for

show examples

a youngster.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there is an emotional connection between parents and their

children

Use synonyms

. If a punishment

given

Add a missing verb

is given

show examples

to them, it would affect

Correct article usage

the

show examples

mind of a young one.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

situation will daunt them forever and it will stop them

to do

Change preposition

from doing

show examples

any kind of crime.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a guardian should take

Remove the article

apply

show examples

responsibility

Change preposition

for

show examples

a child because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

behaviour

Add an article

the behaviour

show examples

of a younger is only depends upon their family background. If a father or a mother is doing an illegal thing,

children

Use synonyms

will

also

Linking Words

learn that from them. To summarize the discussion, the guardian is the only element in the childhood

from

Change preposition

show examples

which

children

Use synonyms

are attached to. There is no one above them to teach

Correct article usage

the

show examples

difference between good and bad. Thereby, if younger one does any illegal thing, their parents are responsible for that and a proper punishment should be given to them.

Wed Mar 04 2020

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas in a more coherent and cohesive manner.

introduction conclusion

The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly presented to address the essay prompt effectively.

relevant examples

Ensure that all specific examples and ideas provided are relevant to the topic and support the main points effectively.

task response

The essay needs to address the prompt more comprehensively with a stronger focus on task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Caring for children is probably the most important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

These days there’s no need to go to the live performance (e.g: show or concert) because what we can see on TV or computer screen is better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?