Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #lessons #money #school

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Social and public organizations,

such

Linking Words

as charities, create special events to be celebrated, like 'National Children's Day' and 'National Non-smoking Day'. There are a lot of factors that motivated these organizations to invent and give special names

in particular

Linking Words

days, but none of them are for

the bad

Suggestion

the worst

purposes.

However

Linking Words

, these particular events are less effective due to the high amount of names have been given out.

First

Linking Words

of all, there are a lot of special names in some particular days have been named and all of them were purposely made to lead a better life for humanity. Take

for example

Linking Words

, National Children's Day which indicate the importance of children health and growth. There are a lot of unfortunate children around the world who do not have

luxury

Suggestion

the luxury

and opportunity to study and receive a good health treatment.

In other words

Linking Words

, by creating

such

Linking Words

an event, hopefully people will help and volunteer in either by sharing some amount of money or doing social activities.

Thus

Linking Words

, even if some special names are not really urgent to be created, none of them are made for bad purposes.

Secondly

Linking Words

, due to the many creations of special names, people tend not to take these much more seriously than before. Even though the events were made to remind each individual to do some good deeds, too many of them will become less worth it.

Thus

Linking Words

, people will eventually take

such

Linking Words

days, particular days with special names, for granted. So, in order to make it more effective the amount of events need to be reduced and only keep the most important one. That's why, unless the number of events

beeing

the state or fact of existing

being

been

decreased, it will not give any special notice for people.

Therefore

Linking Words

, Social and public organizations need to make some priority and put the most urgent and important one. In conclusion, despite the positive reasons in making special names

Suggestion

for

particular days, the effectiveness will go downwards because there

are

Suggestion

were

already too many of them.

Submitted by tryalditama on Wed Mar 04 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
budgeting
savings and investment
financial responsibility
school curriculum
mathematics integration
social studies
debt prevention
credit score
wise financial decisions
parental responsibility
structured education
real-world experiences
internships
personal finance

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Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

There are fewer controls over the design and construction of home and office building. So, people can build them however they like. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?