If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #company #wage #job #role #harmony #cooperation #staff

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It is often argued that increasing the number of police officers and expanding the prison population cannot effectively reduce crime in urban areas. I completely agree with

this

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view and believe that addressing

poverty

Use synonyms

and lack of educational opportunities plays a pivotal role in eradicating criminal activities.

Firstly

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, financial hardship compels people to live in miserable conditions, often without access to adequate food, clean water, clothing, or education.

This

Linking Words

poverty

Use synonyms

frequently leads to poor health and illnesses, the treatment of which

also

Linking Words

requires financial resources.

While

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stricter laws and harsher punishments may deter some criminal behaviours, challenging living conditions continually demoralize individuals and push them toward unlawful acts as a means of survival.

Therefore

Linking Words

, improving living standards is one of the most effective methods of reducing people’s inclination toward engaging in illegal activities.

Secondly

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, limited access to study is closely linked to unemployment. Employers of successful companies offering high wages prioritize candidates with advanced knowledge and skills to contribute to their organization's growth. Individuals without higher education often find themselves in low-paying jobs, which fail to meet their aspirations for a better quality of life.

This

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frustration may, in turn, drive them toward criminal behaviour in pursuit of financial stability. In conclusion, petty crimes and other unlawful acts are more strongly influenced by

poverty

Use synonyms

and inadequate educational opportunities than by the enforcement of laws. Only by alleviating

poverty

Use synonyms

and providing better access to

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

enough

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

knowledge and skills for disadvantaged and unemployed individuals can we effectively reduce crime rates in society.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu Jan 09 2025

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task achievement

Expand on the explanation of how poverty and education are related to crime to provide a more comprehensive view.

task achievement

Consider adding concrete examples or case studies to strengthen the points about poverty and education influencing crime.

coherence cohesion

Though the structure is good, ensure that all paragraphs have a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through the argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear thesis statement and the essay is well-organized, with ideas logically flowing from one to the next.

task achievement

You addressed the task very well, staying focused on the key issues of poverty and education concerning crime rates.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments without simply repeating them, tying them back to the main thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

harmony
cohesion
financial incentive
productivity
equity
organizational culture
highly skilled professionals
innovation and competitiveness
redistribution of tasks
job satisfaction
meritocracy
contributions and achievements

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If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped?[697]

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you thnk the advantages outweigh the disavantages?

Write an apology letter when you missed an appointment with your doctor

Some people believe that traveling to other places is not essential to learn about different cultures as one can gain knowledge from books, movies, and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?