Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion!

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations

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this

current world, it is arguable whether we have to accept unideal

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

, like a miserable work situation or not having enough money, or we have to fight back for a better

condition

. From my perspective, there are truths for both views. The following paragraphs will clarify my stance.

Firstly

, tolerating bad things that happen in our lives is not a negative act to do.

Instead

, it will lead to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better acceptance, so we can manage to deal with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhappy feelings.

For example

, my closest friend works in a

fast food

Add a hyphen

fast-food

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chain restaurant. Her salary is only enough to fulfil her daily needs. She is not pretty proud of her achievement, nor is she pleased with

this

condition

. She is just at peace with

this

circumstance, so she will have less burden to face.

Therefore

, accepting unfortunate

time

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times

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is quite good to do.

Secondly

however

, having a

fight

Change the verb form

fighting

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sense to escalate our poor situation is

also

a great way out. By having

this

spirit, we can maximise our potential to reach our goals, whether it is about job

position

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positions

show examples

or wage

level

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levels

show examples

For instance

, my oldest brother

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

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resigned from 4 companies in a row, right before he

gets

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got

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his latest position, which

allows

Wrong verb form

allowed

show examples

him to gain triple the cash of his first occupation.

Thus

, empowering ourselves to improve our luck is a need. In conclusion, since accepting a bad situation and fighting for a better

condition

are good things to do, I choose to agree with both of the views.

Submitted by mayaanita.studi on Mon May 06 2024

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Grammar and Lexical Resource

Be careful with minor grammatical errors and slightly awkward phrasing which can occasionally hinder the clarity of your argument. Regular practice can help you reduce these.

Sentence Variety

Aim to vary your sentence structures more to showcase your linguistic range. This can result in a more engaging and sophisticated essay.

Balanced Discussion

You might consider integrating a more balanced discussion by equally weighing both views before presenting your opinion. This ensures a comprehensive exploration of the topic.

Organization

You have shown a good ability to organize your ideas logically, which makes your essay clear and easy to follow.

Introduction and Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are both effectively structured, providing a clear insight into your understanding of the topic.

Use of Examples

The use of examples from personal experiences significantly supports your main points, making your arguments more persuasive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

adversity
resilience
stoicism
contentment
cope
adapt
endure
persevere
settle
ambition
tenacious
determined
resourceful
optimistic
self-improvement
proactive
initiative
transform
overcome
confront

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Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion!

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

ordinary people copy famous people whom they see on TV and magazines. Do you think it is a positive development?

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time,people would always choose not to work. do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that teachers should be able to ask disruptive children to leave the class. Do you think it is the best way to deal with distruptive children in the classroom? What other solutions are there?

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most people do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?