IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives information about the birth and death rate in the same countried in the same period.

The first chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives information about the birth and death rate in the same countried in the same period.
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The pie charts illustrate the average family cost in the most two popular
cities
Use synonyms
 in Australia in 2005. which is based
on
Change preposition
in
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 Adelaide and Sydney.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we can see that in Adelaide, the highest
percentages
Use synonyms
 of
expenditure
Use synonyms
spent
Add a missing verb
were spent
show examples
 on other goods and services.
whereas
Linking Words
, the lowest proportion
Use synonyms
expenditure
Change preposition
of expenditure
show examples
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
 on healthcare. The figures were 29 % and 6% respectively. In Sydney, the
Use synonyms
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare cost
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 highest.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest
percentages
Use synonyms
 of expenses on other goods and services. The figures were 34% and 3% respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, both
Use synonyms
cities
Change noun form
city's
cities'
show examples
expenditure
Use synonyms
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
 were
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in housing. the figures were 24% and 2% respectively.
in addition
Linking Words
, In Adelaide, the
Use synonyms
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on transport
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 higher than
Sydney
Change preposition
in Sydney
show examples
, which is 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
clearly
Add a comma
,clearly
show examples
 we can see that
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 most of the
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
expenditure
Use synonyms
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
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 on food.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that both
cities
Use synonyms
 spent similar
Use synonyms
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
 the
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, percentages, expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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