IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are moving from rural areas to cities in search of a better life, but city life has its own problems. What are these problems? Suggest some solutions.

At the present time, an increasing number of people are moving from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to urban
areas
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 in order to find a better life, yet meanwhile,
city
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 life has its own
issues
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. In
this
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 essay, I will analyse some relevant problems and suggest some solutions as well. It is obvious that
issues
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 in
cities
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 are complicated.
Firstly
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, the large population in
cities
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 has led to
housing
Add an article
the housing
a housing
show examples
 shortage.
For instance
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, in many big
cities
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, a large number of people have to live in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
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 because the rent is too high in the
city
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.
As a result
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, these people must commute to the
city
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 to work every day, which leads to the second problem –
traffic
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 congestion. Indeed,
traffic
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 jam has become a major concern in
so
Rephrase
apply
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many
cities
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 around the world. Take Shanghai as an example. If someone wants to drive from the eastern side to the western side
in
Change preposition
of
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 Shanghai, they may spend six or seven hours on the road because of
traffic
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 congestion. The third problem is pollution. It seems that air pollution and water pollution are more severe in
cities
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 than in rural
areas
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, and research has proved that overcrowded
cities
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 suffer from these
issues
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 even more because of the large population.
Accordingly
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, the solutions to the aforementioned
issues
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 should
also
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 be varied. First and foremost, the government should supply cheaper urban housing so that workers can afford to live in
cities
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.
For example
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, Australian
cities
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such
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 as Adelaide and Perth have government housing in
city
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 centres in order to support low-income families.
Then
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, the government needs to improve transport infrastructure and manage the volume of
traffic
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 the consideration that there are always many commuters every day. Above all,
city
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 dwellers must raise their awareness about how to protect the environment and live in a sustainable way. That means everyone has to help
cities
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to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
address
this
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 problem before the damage caused by
this
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 trend becomes irreversible. To summarise, several problems are caused by the increasing population in urban
areas
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. I believe that we should take measures including providing affordable housing in
cities
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, improving transport infrastructure and raising public awareness about an eco-friendly lifestyle to solve those disturbing
issues
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.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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