The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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Living in the competitive society means people do not have sufficient downtime to get nutritious meals because of having to work constantly.

This

Linking Words

situation results in a concern about

obesity for

Accept comma addition

obesity, for

healthcare institutions and organizations. Some people reckon that

educational system

Suggestion

the educational system

educational systems

should create auspicious conditions for students to attend more physical lessons and activities at school. Personally, I absolutely concur with

this

Linking Words

conception for some justifiable reasons. We cannot deny a fact that children benefit a multitude of advantages from taking part in physical lessons. It is worth mentioning that they have

Suggestion

opportunity to energize, keep fit and prevent many ailments involving obesity. While exercising and playing sports

such

Linking Words

as badminton or running, blood circulates throughout our body and sustenance is metabolized into energy by being mixed with fluids.

This

Linking Words

simultaneous combination help students avoid being overweight and promote the circulatory system in the body.

Educationalists

Suggestion

in some countries consider core subjects and electives as priorities at school and do not hold physical activities in high regard.

However

Linking Words

, in a developing

era

a particular geographical region of indefinite boundary (usually serving some special purpose or distinguished by its people or culture or geography)

area

, students have to study hard to achieving high academic results and please their parents.

Therefore

Linking Words

, their proclivity towards junk food is inevitable.

This

Linking Words

harmful kind of food provides an excessive amount of glucose and fat

Suggestion

their body, so having

physical

Suggestion

physics

lessons is definitely imperative so as to preclude grease agglomeration which can

also

Linking Words

brings

Suggestion

bring

about diabetes and

hyperlipidermia

presence of excess lipids in the blood

hyperlipidaemia

. To sum up, introducing more physical lessons in school is an extremely effective and crucial method to prevent students from being overweight because the tendency of eating fast food and merits of exercising which have been outlined above.

Submitted by baotram2910.1312 on Wed Mar 04 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Fully explain your ideas

In msny countries,people are now living longer than ever before,some people say an aging population creates problems for governments, other people think there are benefits if sociaty has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Dangerous sports activities are activities that include high level of risk and sense of adventure.

Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to an airline manager regarding your bad experience on a recent flight. Pease say Where and when did you fly? - What happened on the flight? - Give a suggestion how this issue could be resolved or prevented.