The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in the competitive society means people do not have sufficient downtime to get nutritious meals because of having to work constantly.
This
situation results in a concern about
obesity for
Accept comma addition
obesity, for
healthcare institutions and organizations. Some people reckon that
educational system
Suggestion
the educational system
educational systems
should create auspicious conditions for students to attend more physical lessons and activities at school. Personally, I absolutely concur with
this
conception for some justifiable reasons. We cannot deny a fact that children benefit a multitude of advantages from taking part in physical lessons. It is worth mentioning that they have
a
Suggestion
an
opportunity to energize, keep fit and prevent many ailments involving obesity. While exercising and playing sports
such
as badminton or running, blood circulates throughout our body and sustenance is metabolized into energy by being mixed with fluids.
This
simultaneous combination help students avoid being overweight and promote the circulatory system in the body.
Educationalists
in some countries consider core subjects and electives as priorities at school and do not hold physical activities in high regard.
However
, in a developing
era
a particular geographical region of indefinite boundary (usually serving some special purpose or distinguished by its people or culture or geography)
area
, students have to study hard to achieving high academic results and please their parents.
Therefore
, their proclivity towards junk food is inevitable.
This
harmful kind of food provides an excessive amount of glucose and fat
to
Suggestion
in
their body, so having
physical
Suggestion
physics
lessons is definitely imperative so as to preclude grease agglomeration which can
also
brings
Suggestion
bring
about diabetes and
hyperlipidermia
presence of excess lipids in the blood
hyperlipidaemia
. To sum up, introducing more physical lessons in school is an extremely effective and crucial method to prevent students from being overweight because the tendency of eating fast food and merits of exercising which have been outlined above.
Submitted by baotram2910.1312 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: