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Band 5.5

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?

#people #birth #thirties #development #support
Marriage and childbirth are clearly among the most pivotal matters since they place a heavy importance on each individual’s life. In the contemporary day and age, despite controversial perspectives, the idea of getting married and giving birth in their thirties
becomes
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has become
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 more and more ubiquitous
due to
 various facets. I strongly concur with the statement that
this
 growing action leads to a positive development in our society. First of all, building a family requires loads of preparations
in
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for
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 mental-related issues and working
schedule
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schedules
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 as it may cause unexpected tensions and nameless chores. The majority of people in their thirties have settled in their
career
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careers
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 with fiscal stability or at least finished their college years with obligatory certifications to support their future which helps forestall overworking in marriage life.
In addition
, the older people are, the more maturity and perception they have. With daily news, numerous situations in which
the
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apply
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couples have to quit their jobs or study to raise their kids are easily spotted because of
lack
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a lack
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 of acknowledgement about the
consequence
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consequences
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 of getting married early. As people gain a better understanding
about
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of
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 their
word
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world
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, they are straightforwardly responsible for their
children
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children's
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 upbringing and have more experience
to nurture
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in nurturing
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 the kids in a moral and scientific way.
Secondly
, in spite of the fact that older mothers may suffer a miscarriage, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes and the children are at higher risk of DOWN Syndrome, pregnancy after the age of thirty reduces health risks thanks to their bodies being fully grown and appropriate for childbearing. Researchers at the University of Southern California have stated that women who bear children in their 30s face a lower probability of uterus cancer compared to those in their mid-twenties.
Moreover
, having babies late
also
spell
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spells
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 longevity
of
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for
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 the mother
as a result
 of recent studies, which marks a significant benefit in personal and marital life. In conclusion, establishing a family at a measurable old age has several advantages involving mental and health problems as highlighted before.
Upward
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The upward
An upward
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 tendency towards the aforementioned action will be a suitable option for righteous kids raising and healthcare for families.
Submitted by baotram2910.1312 on

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task response
Ensure that examples provided are accurate and supported by reliable sources. Avoid making claims without evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas. Maintain consistency in the use of transition words for better coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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