IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, the mobile phone plays a major role in our lives, which brings many benefits to us but also contains some drawbacks. Both these sides will discussed in this essay.

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Generally, the mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 will certainly bring about a lot of advantages.
First
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 of all, the mobile
phone
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 is considered the quickest means of communication in our daily life, we can contact easily with our friends and our relative wherever by calling or sending messages.
Second
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, the mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 is
also
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 a means of entertainment for people. We can listen to music and play games on mobile
phone
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, by using the latest apps for smartphones
,
Accept space
,
 we can access to the internet to watch Film and check our profile in social networks and update our status wherever we are.
Final
Suggestion
Finally
, If we have a smartphone in hand,
our
introduces an alternative
or
 studying becomes more effective
such
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 as look up
dictionary
Suggestion
the dictionary
a dictionary
, find out many
source
Suggestion
sources
 of reference on
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 which is useful for studying.
On the other hand
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, the mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 is
also
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 many
disadvantage
Suggestion
disadvantages
.
First
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, telephone user become
to
to a degree exceeding normal or proper limits
too
 addicted their mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 if they are too depends on it,
moreover
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, the ability of human communication is limited if the mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 is more present in some event
such
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 as class meetings, on the bus, in the park
…
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…
some people only focus on their
phone
Use synonyms
 without communicating. The use of mobile phones too much will make people take a lot of time
,
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,
it
it is
it's
not only influence
Suggestion
not only influencing
 on study results, makes
students
Suggestion
student
 distraction but
also
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 it is
cause
Suggestion
the cause
a cause
 of disease about eyes.
Final
Suggestion
Finally
, we shouldn't use
mobile
Suggestion
a mobile phone
phone
Use synonyms
 while we are driving because it can lead traffic accidents. In conclusion,
mobile
Suggestion
the mobile phone
phone
Use synonyms
 is necessary for our modern lives today.
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However it
Accept comma addition
However, it
 is helpful or not
,
Accept space
,
 which depends on our ways of using it. It will be better if we use it true purpose and
in
Suggestion
at
 an appropriate time.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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