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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.

#people #behaviours #situations #age #peer #pressure
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It is an undeniable truth that youngsters are encouraged by their friends, parents and teachers,
however
, they are more influenced by their friends because of their similar ages and understandings.
This
 phenomenon has both pros and cons which I will discuss in
this
further
 essay. There are myriad advantages of
such
 influence. To initiate with, the knowledge and experience they gain by each others company. To explain it more I would say that, every child needs someone with whom they can share their happiness and sorrows and if
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 they are their friends they feel more comfortable with them
to share
Change the verb form
sharing
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 anything.
Moreover
, They can learn
an
Correct article usage
apply
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important life
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 by encouraging each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
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, good communication skills and leadership skills and
this
 helps them in sorting out many difficulties in their life. Despite having many Benefits of peer pressure, it has some limitations too.
To begin
 with the adoption of bad habits, If any young child is influenced by
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 person of his age who
smoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
smokes
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 and
drink
Correct subject-verb agreement
drinks
show examples
, they may
also
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 in that bad habit.
Furthermore
, Inspiring wealthy people
also
 creates inequality in a person's life.
For instance
, if youngsters are encouraged by rich people there may be a chance that they demand
for
Remove the preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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expensive gifts from their parents,
which
Correct word choice
that
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 they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 afford.
To conclude
 and give my opinion, I would say that, encouragement always provides a platform to do something challenging and interesting and as similar to
this
 if young ones follow others positively it will help them more to grow well.
Submitted by limbachiyabhagyesh on

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Language
Pay attention to the grammatical errors and misplaced punctuation marks. Also, consider using more varied vocabulary.
Task Response
On some occasions, you do not provide specific examples to support your ideas which can improve the task achievement score.
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