Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.

#people #behaviours #situations #age #peer #pressure

It is an undeniable truth that youngsters are encouraged by their friends, parents and teachers,

however

, they are more influenced by their friends because of their similar ages and understandings.

This

phenomenon has both pros and cons which I will discuss in

this

further

essay. There are myriad advantages of

such

influence. To initiate with, the knowledge and experience they gain by each others company. To explain it more I would say that, every child needs someone with whom they can share their happiness and sorrows and if

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they are their friends they feel more comfortable with them

to share

Change the verb form

sharing

show examples

anything.

Moreover

, They can learn

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important life

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

by encouraging each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, good communication skills and leadership skills and

this

helps them in sorting out many difficulties in their life. Despite having many Benefits of peer pressure, it has some limitations too.

To begin

with the adoption of bad habits, If any young child is influenced by

the

Correct article usage

show examples

person of his age who

smoke

Correct subject-verb agreement

smokes

show examples

and

drink

Correct subject-verb agreement

drinks

show examples

, they may

also

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

in that bad habit.

Furthermore

, Inspiring wealthy people

also

creates inequality in a person's life.

For instance

, if youngsters are encouraged by rich people there may be a chance that they demand

for

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

expensive gifts from their parents,

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

afford.

To conclude

and give my opinion, I would say that, encouragement always provides a platform to do something challenging and interesting and as similar to

this

if young ones follow others positively it will help them more to grow well.

Submitted by limbachiyabhagyesh on Thu Mar 05 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You had to cancel a meeting with a friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter apologize for canceling the meeting explain why you couldn't be there suggest an alternative day when you could meet

Some people believe that school children should be made to wear a uniform. Others feel that children should be free to choose their own clothes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. What extend do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What's the situation like in your country? What do yout think are the advantages and disvanatges of doing part-time job

In recent years children have been given more freedom than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and examples.