IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think the best way to stay fit is by joining a gym/sports club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is generally accepted that enrolling in a
gym
Use synonyms
 membership is an ideal way to be in shape.
However
Linking Words
, some people argue that daily activities
such
Linking Words
 as ascending and descending on a staircase or having a morning walk are more than enough.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, acquiring a
gym
Use synonyms
 membership has many beneficial factors to consider.
Moreover
Linking Words
, today we live in a world which is depleted in technologies,
this
Linking Words
 leads to the increase of computer-based jobs, which solely based on sitting on the chair or at the office all day long without any active activities, which rarely involves the movement of our
body
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 is where
gym
Use synonyms
/sports club play a significant role,
furthermore
Linking Words
, working out in a
gym
Use synonyms
 gives us extensive muscle workout throughout the
body
Use synonyms
 for muscle and bones,
also
Linking Words
 reduce many health issues
such
Linking Words
 as obesity and osteoporosis.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the majority of gyms across many cities provide accommodation
such
Linking Words
 as sauna and steam bath, which help our mind and
body
Use synonyms
 to relax and attain a state of peace.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some claim that daily cliche activities like clambering on a stair or walking to buy regular grocery give enough exercise to the frame.
Thus
Linking Words
, there is no need to purchase a gymnasium membership.
Besides
Linking Words
, we can save money without joining a
gym
Use synonyms
 by doing
this
Linking Words
 simple daily activity.
Also
Linking Words
, we live in a busy world, where it is impossible to allocate extra time for leisure and exercise.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are many exercises which can be done at the comfort of our home. In conclusion, I think working out in a
gym
Use synonyms
 more efficient and effective than considering the day to day activities, because it involves more muscle movement equally spread across our
body
Use synonyms
 than clambering over stairs

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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