IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

You found a problem with the item which you bought it online. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter, you should: • describe the item • explain what the issue is • suggest what you expect the manager to do

#item #company #manager
Dear Sir or Madam,
This
 is Isa Azim. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about an item that I purchased online
last
 Monday, 22nd of September, from your website. I bought an all-in-one MSI PC, model sln1234. It was 5500 USD.
Last
 day, it was delivered apparently in good condition.
Moreover
, when I decided to turn it on, something went wrong and suddenly, it turned off.
In addition
, the monitor's screen seems damaged, which might have occurred in the factory or during the delivery. I know
this
 product has a guarantee.
However
, I would like to know, if the guarantee includes the commodity change or only for repairing the items that do not function properly.
Furthermore
, it is pivotal for me that the PC has altered completely. It would be appreciated if you take the necessary actions promptly. My contact number and email address are attached to the letter. I will be in access after 7 pm. I am waiting to hear from you as soon as possible. Yours sincerely Isa Azim
Submitted by eesa.azim on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and stays focused on that idea throughout. The transition between paragraphs should be smooth and logical.
task achievement
The letter needs to address all parts of the task sufficiently. It's important to provide full and detailed information on each bullet point of the prompt.
task achievement
Consider using less formal language for tasks such as writing a complaint letter. While the tone should remain polite and formal, it can be slightly more conversational.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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