IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The bar chart illustrated the amount of 4 types of wastes collected in a recycling centre during the period from 2011 to 2015. The 4 types of wastes were paper, glass, tins, and garden.

The bar chart illustrated the amount of 4 types of wastes collected in a recycling centre during the period from 2011 to 2015. The 4 types of wastes were paper, glass, tins, and garden.
#bar #amount #wastes #centre #period #paper #glass #tins #garden
The bar chart illustrated the
amount
 of 4 types of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 collected in a recycling centre during the
period
 from 2011 to 2015. The 4 types of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 were paper, glass, tins, and garden. The
amount
 of paper collected was in a
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
 trend, dropping from 57
tons
 in 2011 to 40
tons
 in 2013 and
then
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 again, reaching 70
tons
 in 2015. The figure has been always in first
place
 among the 4 groups, except in 2013 in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 spot. The
second
place
 was
glass
Correct article usage
the glass
show examples
 collection during the
period
, except in 2013 when it replaced the paper collection in the first
place
. After 2013, it dropped to
second
place
 again, ending up in 52 tones in 2015. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of tins and garden collected respectively
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 were in the
third
 and the fourth
place
. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 tins varied from the lowest, 27
tons
 in 2012 to 39
tons
at the end
 of the
period
. The
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
garden fluctuated slightly as well with 15
tons
, the lowest in 2012 to 35
tons
 in 2015.
Overall
, during the
period
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of collections in all four types of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 presented
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend in all individual
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, except in 2013 when the glass was collected mostly.
Submitted by busybee1693 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, period, tons, place with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrated" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: