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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows changes in global food and oil prices between 2000 and 2011. Summarise it.

The graph below shows changes in global food and oil prices between 2000 and 2011. Summarise it.
The line graph compares the average
price
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 of a
barrel
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 of
oil
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 with the
food
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price
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index
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 over a period of 11 years.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 average global
prices
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 of
both
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oil
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 and
food
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 rose considerably between 2000 and 2011.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the trends for
both
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 commodities were very similar, and so a strong correlation (93.6%) is indicated. In the year 2000, the average global
oil
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price
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 was close to 25
dollars
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 per
barrel
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, and the
food
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price
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index
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 stood at just under 90
points
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. Over the following four
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
both
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prices
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 remained relatively stable, before rising steadily (sürekli) between 2004 and 2007. By 2007, the average
oil
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price
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 had almost doubled, to nearly 60
dollars
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 per
barrel
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 and
food
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prices
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 had risen by around 50
points
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. A dramatic increase in
both
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 commodity
prices
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 was seen from 2007 to 2008, with
oil
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prices
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 reaching a peak of approximately 130
dollars
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 per
barrel
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 and the
food
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price
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index
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 rising to 220
points
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.
However
Linking Words
, by the beginning of
2009
Add a comma
2009,
show examples
 the
price
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 of
oil
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 had dropped by roughly 90
dollars
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, and the
food
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price
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index
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 was down by about 80
points
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2011, the average
oil
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price
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 rose once again, to nearly 100
dollars
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 per
barrel
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,
while
Linking Words
 the
food
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price
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index
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 reached its peak, at almost 240
points
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words price, barrel, oil, food, index, prices, both, dollars, points with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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