Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay competitive in a world with rapidly evolving information and technology. Some believe that it is the responsibility of businesses to pay for this training for their staff while others feel it is up to the individual. Discuss both views and give your own opnion.

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Nowadays, in order to remain desirable to companies,

individuals

must keep their CVs up-to-date by attending training programmes. Some think that

this

is the responsibility of the individual,

whereas

others assume it is on the head of the businesses to fund the practice. I believe there is something to be said about

both

schools of thought and

this

essay will discuss

both

viewpoints. On the one hand, there are many

individuals

who are incredibly talented and have a lot of potential

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but cannot

further

their careers

due to

a lack of funds. An unfortunate event, as these

individuals

may have a lot to give, but do not have the means to partake in these courses.

Thus

, in

this

situation,

both

the individual and the business would be at a disadvantage.

For example

, Rolls Royce has an amazing apprenticeship programme that my young cousin is starting

this

September. They train school leavers and mould them into

individuals

who can

further

benefit the company.

Moreover

, without

this

program, she would have looked to get a job rather than furthering her education which would have been a shame thanks to her high IQ and photographic memory.

On the other hand

, these training programmes are for the personal growth of the individual, which means once they complete the training required, they could leave the company. In

this

case, the business would be at a loss after spending tens of thousands for a prospective employee.

For instance

, the NHS pays for part of the graduate-entry programme for Medicine since these applicants are not eligible for student finance. Out of these

individuals

, a staggering 30% choose not to practice after finishing university and another 15% decide to practice abroad.

Consequently

, if the NHS did not run the above scheme they may have the money to place

elsewhere

to ensure current junior doctors are given a pay rise. In conclusion, there are benefits seen in

both

arguments, which are heavily monetary. I believe

this

can be solved by a stipulation in the contract to ensure the businesses receive a healthy return on investment, ensuring

both

parties are successful.

Submitted by patelmeera on Sun Jul 14 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate a bit more on how companies could get a return on investment. Include more detailed points or examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

While the essay has a solid structure, consider using more linking words and phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' or 'In contrast,' to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the writer's intention to discuss both views.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and presents a well-balanced viewpoint.

task achievement

Good use of relevant and specific examples (e.g., Rolls Royce apprenticeship program, NHS graduate-entry programme) to support main points.

task achievement

The ideas are clearly presented and comprehensive, contributing to a complete response to the task.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

351 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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