Some people say International Sports events help in world peace. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #events #world #peace

It is true that international

sports

events

have been successfully used to ease tensions between

countries

over the past decades, but it is

also

undeniable that

such

activities have caused violence and conflicts among people from different backgrounds.

Therefore

, I can only partly agree with the idea that international

sports

games are helpful in building a peaceful world. On the one hand, organizing international

sports

events

is an effective means for country leaders to make conciliatory international gestures. A good example of

this

is China’s ‘ping-pong diplomacy’ in the 1970s, which successfully led to the thaw in Sino-American relations

with

Change preposition

show examples

exchanging table tennis players between the two superpowers.

Similarly

, inter-Korean relations have been improved as the two

countries

formed

the

Correct article usage

show examples

joint Olympic team in 2018. People’s common interest in

sports

enables international sporting

events

to work as a communication bridge that creates solutions for peace.

On the other hand

, we should not underestimate the negative effects on world peace related to international

sports

events

Firstly

, the terrorists have been targeting large-scale sporting

events

over recent years, willing to

proving

Wrong verb form

prove

show examples

their existence by attacking crowded places.

Although

hosting

countries

are strengthening security measures,

sports

fans and athletes are still facing potential safety risks.

Secondly

, the violent behaviour of

sports

fans from different

countries

might result in tragedies.

For example

, hundreds of people got injured in the conflict between soccer fans of Liverpool and Juventus in 1985. In conclusion, I partly agree that international

sports

events

are helpful in building world peace because of their bridging effect among nations,

however

, I would

also

argue that

such

events

may bring safety issues and generate conflicts between people.

Fri Mar 06 2020

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clarity

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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