IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

1. Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people, who lost their jobs because of it.

#impact #environment #people #jobs
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Online shopping has become common all around the world where there is access to the internet. Proponents of online sales claim it has more
favorable
encouraging or approving or pleasing
favourable
 influence, yet
adverse impact
Suggestion
the adverse impact
 of online trading on
nature
Use synonyms
 and employment
can not
can not
cannot
 be ignored.
This
Linking Words
 essay will scrutinize
both
Use synonyms
 positive and negative
effect
Suggestion
effects
 of shopping on the internet. On the one hand, online shopping offers
wide range
Suggestion
a wide range
 of opportunities and influences on the
nature
Use synonyms
 and workforce positively.
First
Linking Words
 of all, customers do not need to commute to department stores using vehicles which will emit greenhouse gases to the atmosphere leading to global warming.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some people have started their online businesses selling products without going out of their houses and most people are recruited in sorting and distributing of the online orders.
Thus
Linking Words
, we can see
online trade
Suggestion
an online trade
 has
favorable impact
Suggestion
a favourable impact
favourable impact
both
Use synonyms
 the environment and employment of some entrepreneurs who are engaged in online commerce.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, negative aspects of online shopping cannot be
overlooked especially
Accept comma addition
overlooked, especially
 in
nature
Use synonyms
 deterioration and unemployment. People now can order items and products from any part of the world on the internet and
this
Linking Words
 will accelerate the rate of air pollution which is already at alarming level.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a lot of employees in the sector of selling have been dismissed from their jobs as fewer numbers of people and robots can do their duties properly. That’s why, purchasing
on
Suggestion
of
 the commercial websites has
unfavorable effect
Suggestion
an unfavourable effect
unfavourable effect
both
Use synonyms
 on the
nature
Use synonyms
 and the provision of job. To conclude, online shopping has
both
Use synonyms
 beneficial and detrimental
effect
Suggestion
effects
 on
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 and employment of people.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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