Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison, instead they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?

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Variety
Correct article usage
A variety
show examples
of crimes are being punished by
prison
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
some people believe that certain offenders should not be imprisoned ,rather they should do community
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
. I agree that in some cases,
prison
Use synonyms
may not be the best solution and community
work
Use synonyms
will help them to rehabilitate. The first thing to consider is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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young offenders,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
involved in all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of crimes, can never be put into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because the children’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
can be moulded easily, so before giving them harsh punishment the whole matter should be looked for.
For instance
Linking Words
, several mobsters force needy kids to do illegal acts for the sake of money, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them delinquent juveniles. The rest of the life of the youngsters can be saved by teaching them good deeds along with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community works so that they can understand the value of their life. The second thing to be considered is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
drug addicted
Add a hyphen
drug-addicted
show examples
persons, who are
culprit
Fix the agreement mistake
culprits
show examples
can never be imprisoned. The reason is that they commit crimes to feed their destructive addiction, so they need a rehabilitation centre,
besides
Linking Words
of giving them a pitiless punishment in a
prison
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if a
drug
Use synonyms
addicted person
involves
Wrong verb form
is involved
show examples
in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
social
work
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
it would be possible for him to overcome the
drug
Use synonyms
craving. Several
drug
Use synonyms
addict persons can be able to do the
work
Use synonyms
for the welfare of their societies and it would definitely
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
in the growth of communities. In conclusion, putting criminals in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
Use synonyms
is not the only way to rehabilitate the criminals. There should be a proper investigation of an offender and a crime .I strongly believe that social
work
Use synonyms
without any pay is one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
to
deterrent
Replace the word
deter
show examples
them which benefits both society and the
offende
Correct your spelling
offender
offence
offended

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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