Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison, instead they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?

Variety

Correct article usage

A variety

show examples

of crimes are being punished by

prison

Use synonyms

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

some people believe that certain offenders should not be imprisoned ,rather they should do community

services

Fix the agreement mistake

service

show examples

. I agree that in some cases,

prison

Use synonyms

may not be the best solution and community

work

Use synonyms

will help them to rehabilitate. The first thing to consider is

the

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

young offenders,

which

Fix the agreement mistake

who

show examples

are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

involved in all

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of crimes, can never be put into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because the children’s

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

can be moulded easily, so before giving them harsh punishment the whole matter should be looked for.

For instance

Linking Words

, several mobsters force needy kids to do illegal acts for the sake of money, which

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

them delinquent juveniles. The rest of the life of the youngsters can be saved by teaching them good deeds along with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

community works so that they can understand the value of their life. The second thing to be considered is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

drug addicted

Add a hyphen

drug-addicted

show examples

persons, who are

culprit

Fix the agreement mistake

culprits

show examples

can never be imprisoned. The reason is that they commit crimes to feed their destructive addiction, so they need a rehabilitation centre,

besides

Linking Words

of giving them a pitiless punishment in a

prison

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, if a

drug

Use synonyms

addicted person

involves

Wrong verb form

is involved

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

social

work

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

it would be possible for him to overcome the

drug

Use synonyms

craving. Several

drug

Use synonyms

addict persons can be able to do the

work

Use synonyms

for the welfare of their societies and it would definitely

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

in the growth of communities. In conclusion, putting criminals in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

is not the only way to rehabilitate the criminals. There should be a proper investigation of an offender and a crime .I strongly believe that social

work

Use synonyms

without any pay is one of the best

way

Change to a plural noun

ways

show examples

deterrent

Replace the word

deter

show examples

them which benefits both society and the

offende

Correct your spelling

offender

offence

offended

Mar 6, 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

297 words

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