Do you feel it is better for young people leaving school to study further at university or go straight into the workplace? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

I believe that there are various aspects
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
situation and
according to
me
Add a comma
me,
show examples
there is no need for the young generation to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school and finish
the
Change the word
their
show examples
bachelors
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
and will have a bright future. In the next paragraph, I will add the reasons why I think
this
way.
College
Add an article
A college
show examples
degree is not significant to be successful in the modern era. Most of the successful entrepreneurs in the world
doesntdoesn’t
Correct your spelling
don’t
hold
college
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
. For instance, Mark ZukerburgZuckerberg, founder and CEO of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Facebook
IncInc
Correct your spelling
Inc.
. Had
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
dropped out
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
HarwardHarvard
Correct your spelling
Harward Harvard
University but recently, Harvard
Hardward
Correct your spelling
Hardware
University awarded him with the
dDegree
Correct your spelling
degree
.
Likewise
, modern
technological
Replace the word
technology
show examples
and
Correct article usage
the iInternet
show examples
iInternet
Correct your spelling
Internet
revolution changed the definition of success and proved that
Correct article usage
a cCollege
show examples
cCollege dDegree
Correct your spelling
college degree
is not necessary.
On the other hand
, some people argue that the children won't learn anything without going to the
college
. But,
tThere
Correct your spelling
there
are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of kids who
gained
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
knowldgeknowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
at Home from their own parents much more than what they have learnt in
ScoolSchool
Correct your spelling
school
or
college
.
For example
, Akash Vihari, a small
5 year
Replace the word
5-year-old
show examples
kid from Los
AnglelesAngeles
Correct your spelling
Angeles
reached came to the final round of
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Spelling Bee
competetioncompetition
Correct your spelling
competition
. By that time he just started going to school but he got
this
knowledge from his
pParents
Correct your spelling
parents
. Most of the Spelling Bee
competetion'scompetitions’
Change noun form
competition’s
show examples
top kids are less than 10 years old and
goinedgained knowldgeknowledge
Correct your spelling
have gained knowledge
by using
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
or from their own parents. With
this
argument, I conclude that
Correct article usage
a dDegree
show examples
dDegree
Correct your spelling
degree
is just a piece of paper to get some paid jobs but
ItsIt’s
Correct your spelling
It’s
not important to be successful in life. Once the person is successful
automaticallautomatically
Correct your spelling
automatically
ty he/she will get the degree from top most
UnivbersitiesUniversities
Correct your spelling
Universities
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Specialized knowledge
  • Employment opportunities
  • Personal development
  • Critical thinking
  • Communication skills
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Networking
  • Career advancement
  • Practical experience
  • Professional skills
  • On-the-job training
  • Industries and professions
  • Earn income
  • Formal education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: