Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

In the modern scenario, most of the workforce in a country
believe
Suggestion
believes
that the value of engaging in exercises in living a healthy life is negligible.
Moreover
, they tend to cling on to the
rumors
gossip (usually a mixture of truth and untruth) passed around by word of mouth
rumours
which suggest, alterations in diet
(
Accept space
(
adding supplements or multivitamins) have the sole power in addressing their health problems
such
as obesity. In
this
essay I am going to discuss the negative consequences of neglecting exercises and how to overcome them. On the one hand, nowadays technology
has crucially affected
Suggestion
crucially affects
crucially affected
the essential human mobility or locomotion. For an instance, almost all the companies have replaced staircases with elevators or escalators which is an easy mode of travelling to any floor of the building rather than ascending a flight of stairs!
Furthermore not
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, not
like in the past people are reluctant to go even to the nearest boutique on foot.
On the other hand
, today’s workers pay much attention to their work rather
than to their health
Suggestion
than their health
. The deadlines and schedules make them work
selflessly which
Accept comma addition
selflessly, which
leave
Suggestion
leaves
them with no time to engage in exercises.
However if
Accept comma addition
However, if
the government as well as all the companies in a country
get
Suggestion
gets
together and provide the staff members a few hours off of work, at least for a week to engage in exercises and appreciate them when they intend to do so will have a positive impact on these problems. The companies can
also
notify the workers about the aftermath of not getting proper exercises via
internet
Suggestion
the internet
or brochures on a daily basis, they will undoubtedly start acting towards gaining good health through exercises. In conclusion, there are many reasons as
such
stated above which express why the working people do not engage in exercises nowadays. If the government and private companies collaborate to come up with innovative ideas which will earn people’s trust about the major role that the exercises play in a healthy life,
this
problems
Suggestion
problem
can surely be controlled in the future.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users