We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? In this dependence on computers a good thing or should be more suspicious of their benefits?

#computers #business #hospitals #crime #detection #planes #future #dependence

In the

technologycal

based in scientific and industrial progress

technological

technologically

era that we are living, computers are used for

serveral

(used with count nouns) of an indefinite number more than 2 or 3 but not many

several

purposes

such

as business,

historial

healthty

having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease

healthy

, antecedents

policial

a plan of action adopted by an individual or social group

policies

and maps.

This

reality has made a life more easy,

nevertheless

in my view I think we are becoming

addict

Suggestion

addicted

this

electronic device, which is even more important than the human work. If we start to

depende

be contingent upon (something that is elided)

depend

totally from computers, perhaps our privacy will not exist, due to nowadays is very easy to get information about one person, for the reason that almost personal data

Suggestion

are

cloud

Suggestion

a cloud

the cloud

. Actually, there are a lot of

hacker

Suggestion

hackers

who are very smart with the stole of information. So, in my

opnion thanks

Accept comma addition

opinion, thanks

opinion thanks

to computers today there is not privacy.

On the other hand

, I think that computers could

made

Suggestion

make

that a lot of people lose their jobs, since for the companies will be more cheaper have

this

electronic device than workers.

For instance

, every time in a

newspaper it’s

Accept comma addition

newspaper, it’s

necessary have less journalists, because a computer can write itself a news. To conclude, I believe that we

can not

cannot

stop the dependent on computers, in

fact almost

Accept comma addition

fact, almost

every day we can see a new innovation in

this

area, the big companies as a Microsoft and Apple are competing for who is the better in

this

campus. Actually, today a

cellphone

Suggestion

cell phone

can be considered a computer too, thanks the born of

Iphone

Suggestion

the iPhone

iPhone

IPhone

However

for give

stop blaming or grant forgiveness

forgive

a solution in

this

topic I

Accept comma addition

topic, I

think that the should exist more education about the care of data.

Submitted by rominahuaiquil on Fri Mar 06 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Autonomous vehicles
Smart traffic management
AI (Artificial Intelligence)
Machine learning
Personalized treatment
Virtual classrooms
AI tutors
Smart homes
Energy consumption
Grocery shopping automation
Data analysis
Decision-making assistance
Efficiency
Mainstream adoption
Predictive algorithms
Personalization

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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? In this dependence on computers a good thing or should be more suspicious of their benefits?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.