An Increasing Number Of Children Are Overweight These Days

#children

Many and more children becoming more obese and suffering from various health issues.

the

Suggestion

The

main cause of

health obesity

Accept comma addition

health, obesity

is eating

alot

Suggestion

a lot

of junk

food

and fast

food

rather than traditional foods.

encouraging

Suggestion

Encouraging

physical activity and promoting healthy habits can tackle

this

menace. Fast

food

is mushrooming all over the world. Now-a-days every child prefers to eat outside because it is addictive.Unfortunately

Accept space

junk

food

containing high amount of carbohydrates and calories.

Suggestion

creates a lot of negative impact on

childern's

Suggestion

children's

children

child

child's

health. These days

childern

a young person of either sex

children

are motivated to a sedentary and luxurious lifestyle. They hardly flex a muscle. They sit computers

Accept space

televisions and mainly on smartphones spending their time.

This

creates a lot of physical imbalance which leads to obesity. Encouraging children to get physically active by doing always physical work.

rather

Suggestion

Rather

than sitting

Suggestion

home in front smart phones they should go to play out

Accept space

Gradually they should prefer playing out

instead

sitting alone

Suggestion

home.

parents

Suggestion

Parents

must assure that their children are eating healthy meal daily. Occasionally having a pizza or burger is fine, no harm done.But having it regularly causes

damageparents

Suggestion

damage parents

must monitor and intend their kids to opt any active outdoor sport. Playing or doing any kind of physical work

help

Suggestion

helps

them gradually to lose its weight.

Thus obesity

Accept comma addition

Thus, obesity

can be controlled or demolished. In conclusion, children are becoming obese due to the consumption of fatty foods.

This

can be controlled by a regular exercise or any type of physical work.

Submitted by saisaketh05 on Sat Mar 07 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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An Increasing Number Of Children Are Overweight These Days

Fully explain your ideas

In nearly all science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the number?

8. Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

Here is the number of Tourist Visiting X Country in 2019 and 2020. also the data for annual income in various Businesses in X Country in 2007 and 2008

It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?