IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people don't like leave in the small city because they can't develop there a skill in there. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #city #skill
Nowadays immigration to the big
cities in
Accept comma addition
cities, in
 order to live and developing skills is one of the hot topics in society. A number of people believe that living in a small
city
lead
Suggestion
leads
 to dreams destruction.
if
Suggestion
If
 people think properly, they will see living in
the small
Suggestion
smaller
 cities to some extent can be helpful to develop their skills.
in
Suggestion
In
 order to
approvel
give sanction to
approve
this
 statement, we can say in most of the cases, the big cities are far more advanced than
the small
Suggestion
smaller
 cities and have more facilities compared with the small cities.
This
 is obvious that more facilities
such
 as better schools and college and more job opportunities can be led to skills development.
In addition
, there is a contest between members of society for reaching to better positions in the big cities, and everyone
know
Suggestion
knows
 that the sense of competition in the right way is an important factor
to
Suggestion
in
 developing skills.
On the contrary
, living in a small
city
 has
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 benefits.
For
example people
Accept comma addition
example, people
 spend far less time in the way
for
Suggestion
of
 reaching to their destination and they have a lot of time for developing their skills. A
further
 point is that in a small
city
 people face far less problems
such
 as higher Life expenses and they can focus on their dreams to become reality.
Although
the small
Suggestion
smaller
the smaller
the smallest
 cities have not the same facilities that exist in the big cities, it is enough that people can be satisfied with their lives. To
sumup
Suggestion
sum up
, in my
opinion if
Accept comma addition
opinion, if
 people really tend to develop their skills, they should
endur
put up with something or somebody unpleasant
endure
endured
endures
 hardships and be patient and
then
 they can reach
to
Suggestion
for
 their goals and no matter where they are. But living in a small
city
, because of
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 calmness, can help people to upgrade their skills.
Submitted by mohamadalibadraghe972 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: