IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that technology such as mobile phones are destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #phones #interaction
This
 is true that
technology
 plays an important role in our lives.
However
, some people think that our social relationships are damaged with the advent of
technology
. I completely agree that
this
 trend needs, limitations to overcome its effects.
To begin
 with, the use of modern gadgets, is crucial in the progression of our daily lives.
This
 is because businesses rely on the
technology
, and discouraging its use will ultimately affect their revenue.
For instance
, it is believed that Facebook has at least one million employees worldwide, and if we stop using
such
 a platform,
this
 would lead to joblessness. Another potential use of social platforms is to establish contact with friends or families living abroad, which reduces the risk of isolation.
Nevertheless
, the risk associated with the evolution in the
technology
 made us apart from the people in the close proximity. To illustrate, research has shown that the pattern has changed in recent years, as people communicate with strangers globally, rather than interacting with neighbours living
next
-door.
Consequently
, youngsters are more vulnerable to
such
 changes and will have a long-term impact.
For instance
, using smartphones for a long time would lead to addiction, and
this
 will undermine their interpersonal skills and makes them
underperform
 both academically and socially. In conclusion,
although
 the benefits associated with the improvement in communication
such
 as financial growth and reducing homesickness are remarkable, I would argue that the drawbacks outweigh
such
 benefits because of teenagers exploitation and damaging close relationships.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: