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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples from your experience.

#people #internet #search #development
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At present, the Internet plays a vital role in almost every aspect of human life.
As a result
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, individuals are searching online in order to get reasonable solutions to their illnesses. Not everyone is convinced that access to
such
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information
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 online is safe and helpful.
However
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, in my view, providing the general public with access to trustworthy
information
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 about medical disorders would invariably improve the quality of
the
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apply
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medical care for the whole society. Nowadays, even though there are plenty of online platforms have been developed for medical education, most of the sites have not been written by professional healthcare providers.
Hence
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, there is a high possibility of spreading wrong medical
information
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 throughout the world, unless the site developers are held accountable for the content they provide. If
patients
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 receive incorrect
information
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 about a medical procedure and follow the wrong advice,
for instance
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, to remove a wart at home, it might lead to a serious infection, excessive bleeding or other medical emergency. That would constitute, a negative effect of using online knowledge for medical treatments at home rather than visiting a professional. On the flip side, for the sake of the Internet,
the
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society is well aware of
most
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the most
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 common medical disorders and preventive measures.
Consequently
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, a reasonable and prudent individual can decide whether to get a professional opinion on one’s disease or to handle it at home, providing that they get reliable online medical
information
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.
Moreover
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, if
patients
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 can manage mild medical problems themselves, it would certainly reduce the workload at the local hospitals, freeing more doctors for
patients
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 in real need.
Besides
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, if
patients
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 come to a certain extent of knowledge about their condition
to
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during
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 the medical consultation, it would invariably be helpful to the medical practitioner for effective
decision making
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decision-making
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.
To sum up
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, it is evident that online
search
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searches
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 for
information
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 on medical disorders can be a positive development as long as the general public receives trustworthy
information
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the essay question and supports the overall argument.
task response
Provide more specific examples from research or personal experience that directly relate to the arguments made in each body paragraph.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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