IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015.

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015.
#information #sites #people #canada
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 bar chart shows the number of social networking
sites
Use synonyms
 visited by internet users
Canada
Change preposition
in Canada
show examples
 in 2014 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see from the data that, in general, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 a growing
thendency
Correct your spelling
tendency
 to use more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 one site.
Although
Linking Words
 just over
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 of internet
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
did not use any social
netwroking
Correct your spelling
networking
sites
Use synonyms
 in either of the years, the proportion in
this
Linking Words
 category decreased from 22
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2014 to 21
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2015. In both years the highest proportion of users in any group fell into the 'one site' Category.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 group declined sharply from 36
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2014 to 28
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2015.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 contrast, the number who reported using two
sites
Use synonyms
, three
sites
Use synonyms
, four
sites
Use synonyms
 and five
sites
Use synonyms
 all grew over
teh
Correct your spelling
the
 period analysed In both years the proportion of
inernet
Correct your spelling
internet
 users fell as
teh
Correct your spelling
the
 number of social networking
sites
Use synonyms
 increased, with only 2
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 using five
sites
Use synonyms
 in 2014 compared to 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2015.
Submitted by raman.gtr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sites, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart overview
  • social networking sites
  • trends
  • adoption
  • comparison
  • significant changes
  • segment
  • growth or reduction
  • social media habits
  • patterns
  • multi-platform usage
  • decline
  • non-users
  • conclusion
  • digital communication
  • social media marketing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: