The bar chart gives information about the number of car journeys into the city centre made by residents and non-residents.
This
rendered chart illustrates the number of car journeys
into the city
centre
by who
live Correct pronoun usage
those who
by
the town Change preposition
in
centre
And non-
residents
in midst of the year
1996 and 2005.
Fix the agreement mistake
years
Overall
, between 1996 and 1999 residents
, most visited the heart of city
, Add an article
the city
whereas
, from 2000 to 2002 non-
residents
did more car journeys
into the city
centre
.
In
the start of the era, over 900 Change preposition
At
residents
had a journey to city
Correct article usage
the city
centre
per day, whereas
, only 5000 non-
residents
take a
road to Correct article usage
the
central
Add an article
the central
city
and until 1999 there were
an up and down in the Correct subject-verb agreement
was
residents
tour but Change to a genitive case
resident's
residents'
non-
residents
journeys
had a dramatically
increase. Change the adverb
dramatic
Afterward
, Change the spelling
Afterwards
1999
Change preposition
in 1999
residents
visiting decreased unexpectedly
In 2000 to 5000 journeys
regularly. Thus
in 2004 number
of resident visitors Correct article usage
the number
reached
the Correct pronoun usage
who reached
city
centre
was 4000 per day, and slightly less than 4000 for nonresidents
.
Importantly, between the Correct your spelling
non-residents
year
1999 and 2000 parking meters were assembled in the Fix the agreement mistake
years
centre
of city
. Add an article
the city
Therefore
three years later Westgate street and Park lane were forbidden to trafficSubmitted by raman.gtr on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words journeys, city, centre, non-residents, residents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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