IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Question- What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of television

#question- #children #television
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
21st century
Suggestion
the 21st century
, having much screen
time
Use synonyms
 on
television
Use synonyms
 has become more
influencial
having or exercising influence or power
influential
 among children. All children are paying attention on
television
Use synonyms
 when they have free
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are both advantages and disadvantages for
this
Linking Words
 topic. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both
sides including
Accept comma addition
sides, including
 my opinion. Let's start by looking at the advantages of spending
time
Use synonyms
 on
television
Use synonyms
 for children. One of the main positives of spending
time
Use synonyms
 on
television
Use synonyms
 for kids is a source of knowledge. As an example, there are no children who don't like
this
Linking Words
 form of entertainment. In cartoon channel,
this
Linking Words
 will led to know about different types of people in society. Another main
benefits
Suggestion
benefit
 of sitting in front of
television
Use synonyms
 for youngsters is that it can create a safe environment for children. While children are staying at home, they can avoid from
car accident
Suggestion
a car accident
car accidents
the car accident
. Being stay alone at home resulted in peace and privacy environment for all children. Another advantage of having much screen
time
Use synonyms
 for preschoolers is escaping from schedules.
This
Linking Words
 means that some children have many schedules to do many exercises for their educational fields. Spending much
time
Use synonyms
 on
television
Use synonyms
 will get leisure
time
Use synonyms
 for all children. Turning to the other side of the argument
for
Suggestion
in
this
Linking Words
 form of entertainment for kids is learning about bad behaviour.
For instance
Linking Words
, all children will learn types of behaviour from environmental characters.
As a result
Linking Words
, some children act rudely as other people. One of the biggest disadvantages of spending
time
Use synonyms
 on
television
Use synonyms
 for boys and girls is
detrimental effect
Suggestion
a detrimental effect
the detrimental effect
 on their education. Spending much
time
Use synonyms
 on
television
Use synonyms
 resulted in lack of doing lessons.
This
Linking Words
will led
Suggestion
will lead
 to fail their exams. Another major drawback is that it
can led
Suggestion
can lead
 to the lack of communication in children with friends.
For example
Linking Words
, some children are additive to watch
television
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of doing their lessons. Some children who are additive to keep an eye on
television
Use synonyms
 created out of society. To conclude, there are both positive and negative to
this
Linking Words
 way of the popular leisure activity. In spite of the fact that it removes stress, gets leisure
time
Use synonyms
 and learn characters from society. Personally, I believe it is common interest among children and the negatives in terms of paying attention to
television
Use synonyms
 among children outweigh any benefits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: