IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The Government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of public. To what extent do you agree?

#government #money #life #planets #people
On the one hand, the ever-ending
research
 and
exploration
 has led to the government lavishing vast amount of
money
 to unearth the mysteries of life on the different planets in the universe.
On the other hand
, people are debating that the official bodies are wasting
lumpsum
Suggestion
lump sum
money
 on these
research
 and
exploration
 programs rather than looking into the critical issues of the people.
This
 essay agrees that
money
 should be spent to eliminate the problems of
public
Suggestion
the public
. The essay outlines why the essential needs of
public
Suggestion
the public
 should be addressed
first
 and why to focus on
space
 programs and
research
 on a minor investment.
Firstly
, the officials should aim
targeting
Suggestion
to target
 the significant needs of common people and work around to eradicate the issues through financial aid. Common public face problems like poor sanitation, reduced quality in public healthcare facilities, and underemployment. The government should take these problems
first
 and work around them to make the people a happy community proud of their country. Recent epidemic outbursts of the spread of Corona virus in
China which
Accept comma addition
China, which
 caused the death of more than 3000 people is a highly
factful
existing in act or fact
factual
 example
on
Suggestion
of
 what a country should focus
first thereby
Accept comma addition
first, thereby
 agreeing that the officials should fund more on stopping preliminary problems
first
 and
then
 take the
space
 and
exploration
 programs.
Secondly
, since technology,
research
, and innovation pave a way to future these areas shouldn’t be left untouched and unexplored. It is only through
funded
Suggestion
funding
research
 and
space
exploration
 programs answers to
unresolved mysteries
Suggestion
the unresolved mysteries
 on other planets and new findings have been reported.
For example
, if NASA had not spent
money
 on programs like Mars, the public would not have known the existence of a habitant planet which can be a home to humans in
future
Suggestion
the future
.
However
, enormous amount of
money
 should never be invested
on
Suggestion
in
space
 programs when the basic needs of
public
Suggestion
the public
 are addressed incompletely. To summarize, the primary requirements of
common people
Suggestion
the common people
 should be considered
first
 and investment can be done
on
Suggestion
in
 fulfilling the public needs rather than wasting huge amount of funds on
space
 and
exploration
 programs to find lives
in
Suggestion
on
 other planets which may be a threat to the living population on earth if there basic needs are unaddressed.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: