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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think money and appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #success #life #work #determination #money #appearance
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It is true that people have a lot of ways to achieve
success
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.
However
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, some people question whether internal perseverance or external factors like money and appearance contribute more in getting ahead. My view is that people could reach the peak of their career when they
work
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 hard and have determination. Thomas Edison once said, “Genius is one percent
of inspiration and ninety
Suggestion
inspiration and ninety
-nine percent of perspiration.”
This
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 means that even the talented people need to
work
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 hard to gain the fruit of
success
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, let alone the normal ones. So, it is essential for individuals to insist on defeating difficulties to be successful.
Moreover
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, determination is the root of motivation to step over obstacles.
For example
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, the Oscar-winning director Ann Lee, who has cost decades to perfect his script and pursue his film dream. If he had no
such
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 strong will on making good movies, there would not have
such
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 thought-provoking films like Brokeback Mountain and Life of Pi.
This
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 is not to say that money and appearance are not necessary. Of course a
well
Suggestion
good
 economic foundation may shorten the way to
success
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 and a good looking may attract more attention in society. But without inner hard
work
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 and insistence, these fast-consuming contributors from outside would not
last
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 long,
as a result
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, people who simply rely on them would get lost along the way to
success
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. In sum, it is more significant for us to
work
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 hard and have strong
willpower
Suggestion
will power
 to chase the gold medal in our life. Meanwhile, we should not ignore the function of money and appearance. By doing so we can make sure that we will overcome hardships in our life.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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