Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think money and appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is true that people have a lot of ways to achieve success.
However
, some people question whether internal perseverance or external factors like money and appearance contribute more in getting ahead. My view is that people could reach the peak of their career when they work hard and have determination. Thomas Edison once said, “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”
This
means that even the talented people need to endeavour to gain the fruit of triumph, let alone the normal ones. So, it is essential for individuals to insist on defeating difficulties to be successful.
Moreover
, determination is the root of motivation to step over obstacles.
For example
, the Oscar-winning director Ann Lee, who has cost decades to perfect his script and pursue his film dream. If he had no
such
strong will on making good movies, there would not have
such
thought-provoking films like Brokeback Mountain and Life of Pi.
This
is not to say that money and appearance are not necessary. Of course a good economic foundation may shorten the way to victory and a good looking may attract more attention in society. But without inner effort and insistence, these fast-consuming contributors from outside would not
last
long,
as a result
, people who simply rely on them would get lost along the way to their goal. In sum, it is more significant for us to make great efforts and have strong will power to chase the gold medal in our life. Meanwhile, we should not ignore the function of money and appearance. By doing so we can make sure that we will overcome hardships in our life.
Submitted by bellayuan0202 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: