Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is no doubt that a person wants to become famous, and he or she uses many social media to be famous in their community. In
this
Linking Words
way personality is more renowned for their glamour as well as money rather than for their approaches. It
also
Linking Words
many impacts to young people. I agree with the given statement. The upcoming paragraphs will examine the why celebrities are more famous.
To begin
Linking Words
with, personalities are more well know than for their achievements.
First
Linking Words
and foremost step is that, as we know very well, technology is making life easier, faster as well as convenient. In all over the world of people are using many social media for becoming a rich man. Sometimes, their dreams are ruined to the technology,
then
Linking Words
they spend more and more money to be become in the community. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, lazy and obese. To illustrate, some individuals want to become well known without any hard work. They give money to industry for becoming famous. These are the major reasons. Probing
further
Linking Words
, there are lots of influence on children due to
this
Linking Words
phenomenon. The
first
Linking Words
impact on children, for we know that children are future for the country. If celebrities motivate to children, and children enjoy their personal life. They will not only become independent, but
also
Linking Words
very difficult to opt their career in the following years. To conclude, I would say that every coin has two facets. In
this
Linking Words
way personalities have both impacts as well as benefits, and I think there are more effective on youngsters. Celebrities ought to be more responsible and enjoyed the achievements.
Submitted by bobbypanesar7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: