Violence in society increases when more violence is shown on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#violence #society #increases #television

Nowadays, increased crime

rate

is one of the major issues faced by several nations. Faction of people believe that visual media has a prime role behind

this

. Even though media shows criminal

content stories

Accept comma addition

content, stories

that is

not the sole cause of increased criminal activities.

This

essay

not agree

Suggestion

doesn't agree

with the statement. It is a fact that, number of crimes which are reported globally was outrageous. Most of the people

blames

Suggestion

blame

media

Suggestion

the media

for all of these criminal

activities

Accept comma addition

activities, however

however

that is

not the prime cause. Absence of moral education as well as lack of supervision among children is the major cause of increased

violence

rate

. To exemplify, as per the study conducted by an international welfare agency states that juvenile delinquency

rate

increased more than two hundred percentage compared to past decade in all over the world. To continue, unemployment is one

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

reason of

violence

. Lack of employment leads people to anti-social groups and gradually they become a burden to the society.

Person

Suggestion

A person

The person

who cannot pay for his necessities may choose the path of

violence

Moreover

, political parties and other persons

intentionally creates

Suggestion

intentionally create

violence

for their personal needs. India is one the examples of political crimes. To recapitulate, lack of value based education among children and jobless economy are the reasons of massive

violence

rate

. Crime and

media

Suggestion

the media

is not

inter-related

having or showing interest; especially curiosity or fascination or concern

interested

as well as the television cannot influence people that much. In my opinion that argument is baseless.

Mon Mar 09 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

media influence
desensitization
mimic
impressionable
copycat phenomenon
aggression
correlational
causal link
violent crime rates
educational role
glorification
cultural norms
social factors
community norms
regulatory measures
broadcasting restrictions
content rating systems

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Violence in society increases when more violence is shown on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents since their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your suitability for this area of work say when you can attend an interview

you're people should be treated like adults if they commit a crime. in what extent do I agree or disagree

Some people say the the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.