IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Nowadays people are spending more time in workplace and staying away from home for work. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages with your own experience.

#people #time #workplace #home #work
In recent days, most of the populace has become workaholic by extending their time at
work
instead
 of sparing their time for their family. The main benefit of working more is to earn more to fulfil their family needs, while maintaining a distance from their house will affect their relationship is the drawback. To being with, people will get better remuneration when they spend their extra hours in the company to lead a sophisticated life.
That is
 because in
this
 competitive world they must survive with their family and provide shelter and good education for their children which requires more amount.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by Delhi university in India report that 75% of people are utilizing most of their day at
work
 to make money to satisfy their needs.
Thus
, to lead a wealthy lifestyle and to afford their offsprings tuition fees people spending more time at
work
. As far as the drawbacks is concerned, it will ruin their bonding with their families.
In other words
, in case of any happy or sorrowful occasions they may not able to participate which might cause problems at their homes.
In addition
, they cannot see the growth of their own kids when they provide most of their valuable minutes at
work
.
For instance
, a project manager of a reputed company says in
this interviews
Suggestion
this interview
these interviews
 that he lost the chance of seeing and enjoying his son’s growth from his birth because of his
work
 schedule which spoiled his connection with his son. In conclusion,
although
 people get more benefits when they put their efforts in their company to earn more money, but they will slowly be losing their family interaction and enjoying the life with them.
Submitted by sarulatha1.g on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: