IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some People Think That Public Health Is A Responsibility Of The Government, While Others Believe That Individuals Should Be Responsible For Their Own Health. Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion.

#people #health #responsibility #government #individuals
In the past, people thought that
health
 was the only responsibility of the individual,
however
 nowadays some assert that the government should take important steps to improve people's
health
. In my opinion, everyone has to take own responsibility for their
health
 by keeping good habits. Many
health
 problems can be solved easily if people take individual responsibility.
Firstly
, people should not throw garbage anywhere as it can help to maintain a clean city and so as good
health
this
 can be done by penalties for those who do not follow rules.
Secondly
, people should eat healthy food, do regular exercise and take sleep at least 7-8 hours daily as it can give them the strength to overcome and fight for any disease. Currently, In the news, we all can see that Coronavirus is affecting those who have a low immunity system.
On the other hand
, The government can
also
 play a vital role in maintaining good
health
 in society. The municipality can ensure that clean water is supplied, all over the city as well as water tanks are being cleaned regularly.
Moreover
, the Government can build better hospitals and can hire specialist doctors so that ill people can easily consult doctors and can recover soon. But if people are healthy,
then
 they don't feel sick often and
hence
 no need to visit doctors.
Although
, the Government is responsible in some ways like clean water supply and constructing good hospitals. But I agree that individuals can make efforts to stay healthy and fit by keeping good eating habits and daily exercise.
Submitted by sharvarirawas106 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: