IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people nbelieve that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring.

#countries #women #people #nbelieve #income #security #marriage
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Marriage
Use synonyms
 is a beautiful union between two souls or family,
however
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, a number of women in many countries are rejecting
this
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 idea. While some think that women are financially independent so Getting married is dispensable to meet financial needs from
marriage
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, In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
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 above argument and I will discuss other factors as well on
this
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 topic supporting with examples below. One of the main reasons for women to reject
marriage
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 these days is
education
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. Before women were restricted to be in four-walls house and no priority were given to girl-child
education
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.
This
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 has changed from
la
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st few decades n
Suggestion
the last few decades
ow parents are allowing their daughters to pursue their
education
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 as well as career which has made them strong enough to acknowledge their worth.
For instance
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, if educated women is offered to get married a man who is uneducated, rather than getting married to him, they are now strong enough to reject
such
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 proposals unlike before.
Moreover
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,
education
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 has empowered women to earn and become their own bread-winner which made them more independent to take their own decisions,
although
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 before women were restricted by their husbands, even if they just wanted to step out their homes but now
this
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 is changing in the society.
As a result
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, women have become more independent and many choose to not to marry. Another important factor which is keeping women away from
marriage
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 fear of losing freedom. As women are more concern about their freedom to enjoy their life on their own conditions, which could be restricted in a committed relationship.
For example
Linking Words
, If women wanted to travel alone, unless husbands allowed them to go, they could not step out of their homes or conflicts may arise. In order to avoid
such
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 consequences women are choosing to stay single in many countries.
Also
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, independent women have more flexibility to take their own life decisions rather than a woman who are financially dependent on others.
However
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,
such
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 woman has no other option to meet their ends unless they get married.
Therefore
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, financial security plays an imperative role to restrict many women from marriages. In conclusion,
Although
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 many women are refraining from marriages because they have their own financial support system, there are
also
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 other factors which contribute to
this
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 situation
such
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 as
education
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 and freedom.
However
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, I believe that mainly women, are financially stable so not need financial security through
marriage
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.
Therefore
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, they are opting to stay single.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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