IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?

#competitiveness #quality #people #societies #individuals #trend
Amongst
humans’
Suggestion
human
 qualities, people opt for
competitiveness
 which is an indispensable and
positive quality
Suggestion
a positive quality
 to them. In my view, I would argue that not only does
this
 quality have plus points but minus points as well. Obviously, we can perceive that
competitiveness
 has a far-reaching impact
to
Suggestion
on
 people. With respect to competitors, it makes them more ambitious to
best
very tired
beat
 others, gain success and necessary skills more quickly. To illustrate, I was provoked into aiming to win a written essay competition after having seen rivals who were widely known to be the best at writing enrolling for it. I was practicing writing, fixing mistakes and motivating myself so hard before the competition.
As a result
, I won. From my story, I believe that
competitiveness
 significantly contributed to my success and has helped me to be more studious and patient since
then
. Another way of looking at the influence of
this
 quality is that judges, bosses and leaders will have a deeper insight into
candidates’ abilities
Suggestion
the candidates’ abilities
 and more choices for them to choose employees and workers who are the most suitable to their criteria.
Hence
, their teams, business or companies will be profitable because of their outstanding products. Because of the reasons above, I claim that it has an advantage which people can make more money and benefit from their achievements.
For instance
, once a singer wants to be famous,
then
 he has to train his voice and compose catchy songs harder than anyone else. In the future, he will possibly be well-known for his perfect voice and songs, given music awards and earn more money. The fans themselves can enjoy his unique and personal music style.
However
, it
also
 has a drawback which leads to people’s acrid grudges against each other. Humans are likely to be envious of someone’s talents and boycott him.
Therefore
, it is no point
for
Suggestion
in
 people working in
such
 an unfriendly environment where others keep talking bad at them and interrupting their process to success. In brief,
competitiveness
 plays an enormous role
on
Suggestion
in
 societies, and I am the opinion that it includes a downside and an upside.
Submitted by dohuong01072005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: