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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taugh to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #taugh #co-operate #adults
Nowadays, the purpose of education has changed in South Korea. Some people advocate the
competition
 among children, while others believe that children who are brought up to co-operate with each other will become more responsible and social. There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the arguments.
To begin
 with, what is the bright side if a sense of
competition
 between children is made? Faced with intense
competition
, children are stimulated to spend longer time in making efforts. In
such
 situations, it is common for a majority of students in South Korea to have personal tutors who are responsible for teaching them extra knowledge on weekends in order to improve their competitiveness in studies.
Furthermore
, during vacations, students prefer to study abroad for a month rather than review their school works. If they have experiences
such
 as going abroad,
then
 it will be easier for them to apply for a well-known high school successfully.
Moreover
, there are four main school-level and two national examinations to test the students’ learning abilities. Generally, only the top 40% of them have opportunities to attend a good quality high school, which requires outstanding performance in the previous
competition
.
On the other hand
, as they are busy with independent learning, problems that have been produced cannot be overlooked. Children nowadays become selfish, careless and reluctant to help others, especially on the occasion of studies. So there may be a lack of collaboration between them.
This
 should not be encouraged because even though every one of them is intelligent, they still have various weaknesses. Co-operation, indeed, can provide students with opportunities to learn from other candidates and improve their own personalities as well. In conclusion, I strongly agree that children should not be taught to compete but to co-operate. Nobody is perfect, so people are suggested learning and working together to fulfil themselves.
Therefore
, I think that parents and teachers should educate children to concentrate on collaboration,
instead
 of competing and ranking.
Submitted by sbotros07 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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