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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Men do most of the high-level jobs. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? What is your opinion on that? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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I believe, the government has the biggest responsibility regarding fair job distribution.
Therefore
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, it is in charge of assuring jobs, and equal opportunities for both men and women.
Although
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, the male gender represents most of the work force.
Also
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, business companies, especially the private ones, are not very keen on hiring women, because they see them as a liability.
Firstly
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, we should take in consideration, that men occupy more job positions than women.
Hence
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, it should could as no surprise that it is more likely for men to get promoted and occupy high-level jobs.
For example
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, most companies like to hire people who do not pose many objections in matters like
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 abroad for a business meeting, or working late nights. While men usually have no problem with
such
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 things, women tend to decline job offers that involve
such
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 risks, or demand some sort of monetary compensation.
On the other hand
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, it is a pure discrimination to not hire a person of a certain gender, just because the other one presents less of an economic risk. Most employers
also
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 do not hire many young women, because they can get pregnant, and
therefore
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 it will result in them missing more work days on maternity leave, resulting in a decrease in
rentability
Suggestion
.
For instance
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, if an employer cannot decide who to promote between a man and a woman, and both of them are equally matched, chances are that the promotion will be given to the man, since, he is more likely not to miss as many work days. In my opinion, both genders should deserve the same respect and opportunities.
However
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, hiring employees of the male gender presents less of a risk, and
therefore
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 because they are greater number they are more likely to achieve jobs of greater importance. Yet, in order to balance the scale, the government should ensure that at least, one of these very important jobs, is given to a deserving woman, despite not being the most profitable solution.
Such
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 a measure is already being executed in Portugal.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender disparity
  • Affirmative action
  • High-level jobs
  • Gender quotas
  • Workplace diversity
  • Meritocracy
  • Empowerment
  • Reverse discrimination
  • Cultural change
  • Board representation
  • Glass ceiling
  • Equal opportunity
  • Professional advancement
  • Gender bias
  • Role models
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