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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

the maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.
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The two maps show
the
Correct article usage
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Islip's
plans
Use synonyms
 for developing its centre in the future
by
Change preposition
with
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 the biggest change to be about creating a dual carriageway.
Initially
Linking Words
, Islip Center now has
shops
Use synonyms
 on both sides of the main street
,
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 but
plans
Use synonyms
 to build a shopping centre and
shops
Use synonyms
 along the northern and southern border of the walkway, respectively. The pedestrian area will be between
shops
Use synonyms
 and the new developments
such
Linking Words
 as a bus station and car park which is very helpful for the community.
According to
Linking Words
 the development plan, the city is going to build a bus station on the west side of the Shopping Centre and a car park on its east side.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a new housing development there are in the
plans
Use synonyms
, on the southern border of the
shops
Use synonyms
next
Linking Words
 to the park and on the east side of the parking.
Overall
Linking Words
, to complete the
plans
Use synonyms
 they have to build in the countryside. All these developments will be within the dual carriageway which is very useful for the town to have all these close and with easy access.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words plans, shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Small town
  • Centre
  • Development
  • Maps
  • Plans
  • Introduce
  • Topic
  • Purpose
  • Essay
  • Description
  • Current
  • Key features
  • Facilities
  • Advantages
  • Positive aspects
  • Benefits
  • Proposed
  • Changes
  • Improvements
  • Suggested
  • Potential
  • Course of action
  • Summarize
  • Opinion
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