IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph below provides the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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deliveries and passing
rates
Use synonyms
 in
New
Correct article usage
the New
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 Zealand population since 1901, and prognosticates trends up until 2101.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was obvious from the graph that
the
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mortality has risen steadily in the period shown
while
Linking Words
the
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mutuality was on
a
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fluctuation in the beginning 50 years and hit the highest position in 1961, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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 the death
rates
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 will probably overtake the parturition
rates
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 by the end of the previously mentioned century. To be more specific, it can be seen that in 1901, the childbearing rate started at 20.000 and
it's
Wrong verb form
it was
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 followed by
the
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fluctuation for about ten years before there was a sudden rather sharp decline in 1921. Thenceforth, the birth rate fluctuated significantly until it reached a peak of 66.000 in 1961 and stayed between 65 and 50 thousand. The birth rate is predicted to decrease slowly to around 45.000 births by the end of 2101. Compared to the fatality
rates
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, it stood at below 10.000 deaths in 1901 and continuously improved gradually until
present
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the present
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 day. There will be a rapid recovery in the death
rates
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 between 2021 and 2061. Predictably, the death
rates
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 are likely to peak at 60.000 by 2090, before falling back to around 56,000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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