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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family including uncles, aunts, and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #children #uncles #aunts #grandparents #parents
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Some people believe that children should be nurtured just by nuclear families. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view. In my opinion, it would be better extended family play a vital role in bringing up the children. In what follows, I will pinpoint the most outstanding reasons which can aptly substantiate my viewpoint. On the one hand, I believe that there are three main reasons which prove to look after children independently and without the help of relatives is not a good choice.
Firstly
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, nowadays both couples are busy and don’t have enough time to spend with their children and do not respond to what their children
actual
Suggestion
actually
 need and how they learn best.
Secondly
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, in an early stage of children’s life, parents should spend a lot of money to hire a babysitter, and finding good ones who love, support and round-the-clock care children is a real challenge
to
Suggestion
for
 parents.
Finally
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, children really need something to do in their spare time when their parents snowed under with work.
For example
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, my friend and his wife both work in Distribution
Company which
Accept comma addition
Company, which
 belongs to the state works 40-hours per week and their child feels lonely and impacts on
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
By contrast
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, in joint family structure children can find close relatives who fill their parents' absence, and children's upbringing becomes very easy as there are so many people to take care of the child.
Furthermore
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, in the extended family, parents do not worry to take their children to trustworthy caretakers in which aunts, uncles and grandparents.
Finally
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, nurturing
by
Suggestion
of
 the whole family, assist children to obtain invaluable life skills
.
Accept space
.
as
Suggestion
As
 an illustration, grandparents usually have decades of experience to share with the younger generation. In conclusion, To put the whole matter in a nutshell, I totally agree with
idea
Suggestion
the idea
 that in the extended family structure, children learn quantities of understanding, adjusting, & selflessness, And For working parents, it's a blessing to have reliable relatives for their children, and there are several reasons mentioned why
this
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 is the case.
Submitted by ghanizadeh.navid on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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