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Writing Samples
Band 4

As well as making money, businesses also have a responsibilty towards society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilty #society
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While
business
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 help people
to earn
Suggestion
earn
 a handful of money other than any employment,
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
responsibility
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 towards the
society
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 is never coming down. I believe,
more richer
Suggestion
richer
 a person is,
bigger
Suggestion
the bigger
 the
responsibility
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one
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 has. And
this
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 essay shall discuss that in detail with relevant examples.
Firstly
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,
one
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 of the major reasons why
business
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 should have a
responsibility
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 towards the
society
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 is because of
the greatest
Suggestion
the great
 influence it could do. Needless to say, the financial investment a
business
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 is capable of, is far higher than any other employer
could ever dreamt
Suggestion
could ever dream
 of. In the contemporaneous world, taking India as an example,
india's
Suggestion
India's
indias
Indias
 major wealth is possessed by few richer persons in the country.
Hence
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 the
responsibility
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 of
business
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 is none other than wiping out the discriminations in the
society
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 and help the poor to have a better lifestyle.
Secondly
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,
one
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 other
responsibility
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 that
business
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 has, is to act as a motivator or role model for the
society
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. Reason being
,
Accept space
,
 many of the businesses
are try believing
Suggestion
are trying, believing
are trying believing
try believing
 that it's their hard earned
money
Accept comma addition
money, hence
hence
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 they should not waste it elsewhere. Bill gates being
on
Suggestion
with
 the richest person that
world
Suggestion
the world
 have ever seen has proved with his legacy that,
one
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 who posses the money should not live for themselves but for others as well.
Hence
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 he started contributing towards the
society
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 and he started taking the lead to
welathen
being one more than ten
eleven
 the
society
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 with all he could. That being said, people consider him as not just
one
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 other richest person in the world, but as an
influencer
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influence
, motivator and a role model for the many. To recapitulate, I believe and agree that businesses
also
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 have a
responsibility
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 towards the
society
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 and
in other words
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 they have more
responsibility
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 than the rest.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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