IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, while others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #music #form #entertainment #impact #society
In the modern world, there is an opinion that music is solely for entertainment purposes, while others feel that it has a significant role in the society, because many individuals are influenced by the wide range of genres of melody. Personally, I reckon that lyric is not dedicated only for amusement. There is no denying that melody plays an essential role in the society, because many individuals are affected by its magnificence and fascination. It can encourage people to create masterpieces and art objects.
Therefore
, many artists are motivated by compositions, and
that is
 the reason why some individuals are able to see the world in different vibes.
Accordingly
, their mood is raised and they can get a sense of motivation, because melody gives them an opportunity to enjoy the life. To illustrate, many productive employees have claimed that they can work creatively, when they listen to music.
On the other hand
, some people believe that the soul is solely for entertainment.
Furthermore
, those that argue for the narrower view of soul can easily highlight the ways in which tune is consumed today. A good illustration of
this
 is many organizations, parties and nightclubs.
Moreover
, many people are keen to listen to music in order to relax and meditate.
Accordingly
, many people believe that due to these tendencies, the tune is considered only for entertainment. In conclusion,
although
 many individuals tend to think that the soul is solely for amusement, others feel that it has a significant role in people’s life. Personally, I am totally agree with the
last
 option, because singing encourages people to move forward and achieve their goals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: